A Look Back on 2016
Looking back at the year, it seems unreal that it has already passed. It was not too long ago I was hopeful for a fruitful 2016- making plans on many levels.
I can't tell you if I managed to achieve any of the goals I may have set for myself at the beginning of 2016. It has been a difficult year to focus. A great fog had settled itself around me and I struggled to remember dates, appointments and tasks. I found myself relying on my iphone to keep a track of everything and even then, it seemed futile as I missed appointments with no explanation.
I was thrust into the brutal reality of awareness as I examined myself on a deeper level. We are always our own worse critics of course, and I there was no exception here. I judged others, sometimes harshly and spoke ill of people. I failed myself on so many levels, but I won’t stand before anyone and say I am disappointed. On the contrary, I will say that by standing before you and proudly declaring I am not perfect… I am in fact succeeding!
Had you talked to me even 5 years ago, I would have never admitted to being imperfect nor would I admit to being judgemental. I know I have work to do, barriers to cross – isn’t that what our journey is about? I know where I need work, where I need improvement. But I also know what I have accomplished this past year.
I compartmentalize everything in my life. Tuck it away into neat little drawers, each one clearly labelled and never should they ever mix. Well, that all fell apart this year. Being in the fog that I had been, I found myself pulling all the drawers open and dumping everything on the floor so that I could quickly grab what I needed when I needed it. My work life, family life and spiritual life ended up swimming in this big hole and at the best of times, I struggled to keep them above water. I had a sense that only one could breathe at a time and when I attempted to do so, the others would suffocate. It grew into a long tiresome game that sucked the energy from me this year.
I was thinking too hard, working too hard at something that in the end came very naturally. I let go. I can’t recall the exact moment. On the advice of a wise friend, I was told me to “wrap my heart around them” as I worked around the various types of energy in my workplace. I was encouraged to use my words, speak up and communicate effectively… I moved… rose….grew… in awareness and a sense of peace settle in over me.
I let go, and started to understand that I didn’t have to work so hard to keep one aspect of me afloat because I was ONE within me. The binds that I had created melted away, and the curtains came down. I started to see the beauty in all the energies around me, and developed a deep understanding of them. The impatience dissipated, replaced with compassion and gratitude. Even when faced with the greatest challenge, I surprised myself and let go of resentment, anger and frustration.
I am still a work in progress. Today, I am not disappointed in whether or not I achieved my goals. Like a river I went with the flow, I didn’t fight the plan for me. Instead, I welcomed each sign, each message and every challenge that was placed before me. The fog lifted and the path was made clear. There is much work to be done in 2017 and no goals will be set because no matter what happens…it will be a successful year!
Wishing you all the best for a great year!
~BE THE LIGHT WITHIN~
I can't tell you if I managed to achieve any of the goals I may have set for myself at the beginning of 2016. It has been a difficult year to focus. A great fog had settled itself around me and I struggled to remember dates, appointments and tasks. I found myself relying on my iphone to keep a track of everything and even then, it seemed futile as I missed appointments with no explanation.
I was thrust into the brutal reality of awareness as I examined myself on a deeper level. We are always our own worse critics of course, and I there was no exception here. I judged others, sometimes harshly and spoke ill of people. I failed myself on so many levels, but I won’t stand before anyone and say I am disappointed. On the contrary, I will say that by standing before you and proudly declaring I am not perfect… I am in fact succeeding!
Had you talked to me even 5 years ago, I would have never admitted to being imperfect nor would I admit to being judgemental. I know I have work to do, barriers to cross – isn’t that what our journey is about? I know where I need work, where I need improvement. But I also know what I have accomplished this past year.
I compartmentalize everything in my life. Tuck it away into neat little drawers, each one clearly labelled and never should they ever mix. Well, that all fell apart this year. Being in the fog that I had been, I found myself pulling all the drawers open and dumping everything on the floor so that I could quickly grab what I needed when I needed it. My work life, family life and spiritual life ended up swimming in this big hole and at the best of times, I struggled to keep them above water. I had a sense that only one could breathe at a time and when I attempted to do so, the others would suffocate. It grew into a long tiresome game that sucked the energy from me this year.
I was thinking too hard, working too hard at something that in the end came very naturally. I let go. I can’t recall the exact moment. On the advice of a wise friend, I was told me to “wrap my heart around them” as I worked around the various types of energy in my workplace. I was encouraged to use my words, speak up and communicate effectively… I moved… rose….grew… in awareness and a sense of peace settle in over me.
I let go, and started to understand that I didn’t have to work so hard to keep one aspect of me afloat because I was ONE within me. The binds that I had created melted away, and the curtains came down. I started to see the beauty in all the energies around me, and developed a deep understanding of them. The impatience dissipated, replaced with compassion and gratitude. Even when faced with the greatest challenge, I surprised myself and let go of resentment, anger and frustration.
I am still a work in progress. Today, I am not disappointed in whether or not I achieved my goals. Like a river I went with the flow, I didn’t fight the plan for me. Instead, I welcomed each sign, each message and every challenge that was placed before me. The fog lifted and the path was made clear. There is much work to be done in 2017 and no goals will be set because no matter what happens…it will be a successful year!
Wishing you all the best for a great year!
~BE THE LIGHT WITHIN~
January 2017