Reflecting on 2015
As I reflect on the past year, I can only smile at the journey, the lessons, and the growth that I was so blessed to receive. When I think back to where I stood on my journey at the beginning of 2015, the way seemed so dark. Although I did not realize it then, I had allowed fear, anger, jealousy, and resentment to block me on so many levels.
In August of 2014, I had held my father’s hand as he transitioned from this physical world. In his last days, I had watched him soften and accept his fate in a most incredible and brave way. He left me with a lot to think about. Although my journey had begun much before that day, I do believe that his passing help to propel me forward.
Until 2015, I had only band-aided my hurts, covered them under the belief that I was healing. I was lost in many ways, not knowing where, or how to move forward in my journey but knowing only that I needed to heal something. I reached out to many people but nothing seemed to be fitting. It seemed that energetically, I simply was not connecting and what always felt right before, suddenly was not feeling right.
Up until now, I had moved surely along my path and being stuck was in many ways frustrating. Needing to move forward, I was guided to join a meditation circle. I cannot explain the emotions as I melted into the energy, and allowed it to move me in ways I had never thought possible. Although I had meditated before, I had never had this much success! By success, I mean connecting with vivid and strong messages. It also helped to have such a wonderful teacher. Olivia helped me make sense of what I was experiencing and many nights, I went home crying – feeling the relief as my spirit grew.
In 2015, I learned to look within when I was angry – to stop blaming others for my shortcomings. I learned to look at life from a place of love and understanding. So much of what I was carrying on my shoulders slipped away as I walked through one revelation or another - most recently coming to the realization that I am not responsible for everyone’s happiness! I always felt so responsible for everyone’s happiness around me, that I could not be happy unless they were. Sometimes, some people can simply never be happy. How am I responsible for that? It was one of the most eye opening moments for me!
As I move forward in my journey, the messages and signs have become so clear. I finished off the beginning of the year with a certification in reflexology, but there was something more coming up for me, something bigger. I had been feeling it for some time but the right teacher had not yet come along. It was during this time that I once again met Olivia. I must give credit where it is due.
Our paths had crossed before but I was not aware of how much more involved in my journey she was about to be. Through my reflexology teacher, I learned again of Olivia’s meditation classes. I felt this was a message as I had attended one of her meditations before but I guess I had not been ready then. Now I most certainly was.
I cannot stand before anyone and profess to be perfect. By all means, I have my moments but the wonderful thing is that I can know recognize those moments and know that I am wrong. I can swallow my pride, learn from it and move on. It would take me forever to describe the experiences and the learning but there is no point really – every person’s journey is their own and different.
What I can say is that deep inside, there is a growing joy, a light that no one will ever be able to put out again. I can say that I have surrounded myself with love and can look at everyone with that same love. It has created a level of compassion and understanding that I never had before. It is through this love that I have found empowerment to be my true authentic self. This has not worked well for some and many have moved out of my life but that’s okay. I wish them the best.
I have found gratitude and blessings in every day, every living thing and every person in my life. The darkness tries to creep up on me at times but that’s okay too because without it, there would be no light to move towards.
For every person along my path and part of my journey, I KNOW you all know who you are – know that I love you all sincerely and am grateful to have you in my life. With this, I move out of 2015 with a bang! It was certainly a year of discovery, growth and more importantly love…. I KNOW that 2016 will be even more powerful and I am so incredibly ready for the journey – the lessons and the love to come.
Happy New Year!
In August of 2014, I had held my father’s hand as he transitioned from this physical world. In his last days, I had watched him soften and accept his fate in a most incredible and brave way. He left me with a lot to think about. Although my journey had begun much before that day, I do believe that his passing help to propel me forward.
Until 2015, I had only band-aided my hurts, covered them under the belief that I was healing. I was lost in many ways, not knowing where, or how to move forward in my journey but knowing only that I needed to heal something. I reached out to many people but nothing seemed to be fitting. It seemed that energetically, I simply was not connecting and what always felt right before, suddenly was not feeling right.
Up until now, I had moved surely along my path and being stuck was in many ways frustrating. Needing to move forward, I was guided to join a meditation circle. I cannot explain the emotions as I melted into the energy, and allowed it to move me in ways I had never thought possible. Although I had meditated before, I had never had this much success! By success, I mean connecting with vivid and strong messages. It also helped to have such a wonderful teacher. Olivia helped me make sense of what I was experiencing and many nights, I went home crying – feeling the relief as my spirit grew.
In 2015, I learned to look within when I was angry – to stop blaming others for my shortcomings. I learned to look at life from a place of love and understanding. So much of what I was carrying on my shoulders slipped away as I walked through one revelation or another - most recently coming to the realization that I am not responsible for everyone’s happiness! I always felt so responsible for everyone’s happiness around me, that I could not be happy unless they were. Sometimes, some people can simply never be happy. How am I responsible for that? It was one of the most eye opening moments for me!
As I move forward in my journey, the messages and signs have become so clear. I finished off the beginning of the year with a certification in reflexology, but there was something more coming up for me, something bigger. I had been feeling it for some time but the right teacher had not yet come along. It was during this time that I once again met Olivia. I must give credit where it is due.
Our paths had crossed before but I was not aware of how much more involved in my journey she was about to be. Through my reflexology teacher, I learned again of Olivia’s meditation classes. I felt this was a message as I had attended one of her meditations before but I guess I had not been ready then. Now I most certainly was.
I cannot stand before anyone and profess to be perfect. By all means, I have my moments but the wonderful thing is that I can know recognize those moments and know that I am wrong. I can swallow my pride, learn from it and move on. It would take me forever to describe the experiences and the learning but there is no point really – every person’s journey is their own and different.
What I can say is that deep inside, there is a growing joy, a light that no one will ever be able to put out again. I can say that I have surrounded myself with love and can look at everyone with that same love. It has created a level of compassion and understanding that I never had before. It is through this love that I have found empowerment to be my true authentic self. This has not worked well for some and many have moved out of my life but that’s okay. I wish them the best.
I have found gratitude and blessings in every day, every living thing and every person in my life. The darkness tries to creep up on me at times but that’s okay too because without it, there would be no light to move towards.
For every person along my path and part of my journey, I KNOW you all know who you are – know that I love you all sincerely and am grateful to have you in my life. With this, I move out of 2015 with a bang! It was certainly a year of discovery, growth and more importantly love…. I KNOW that 2016 will be even more powerful and I am so incredibly ready for the journey – the lessons and the love to come.
Happy New Year!
December 2015